Do You Have An Abusive Boyfriend?


Do You Have An Abusive Boyfriend?

Statistics show that 1 out of 3 teenagers has experienced violence in a dating relationship. Most cases involve one partner trying to maintain power and control over the other through some kind of abuse.

Most victims of Dating violence are young women who are also at higher risk for serious injury. Women ages 16 to 24 experience the highest per capita rates of intimate violence — nearly 1 out of 50 women.(Bureau of Justice Special Report: Intimate Partner Violence, May 2001)

Teen dating violence often is hidden because teenagers are inexperienced, want independence from their parents. and they are pressured by peers to begin dating at an early age.

Some young men may believe they have the right to “control” you or they think they will lose “respect” if they are attentive and supportive toward their girlfriends.

Are you at fault?

You might think you are the one who is causing the problem. You may think that his jealousy and abusiveness means he really loves you so much he can’t control himself.
You might think because you have friends that are also being abused that this is normal or you may think you can change him.

You would be wrong on any of those counts and statistics prove that beyond a shadow of a doubt. If your boyfriend is abusive now, he will not get better, he will get worse until one day he hurts you really bad or even kills you. It’s that serious.

Ask yourself these questions; If you answer yes to one or more of the following questions about the boy you are dating then you are in danger of having a serious problem. If several of these are yes, get a new boyfriend.

Is he using alcohol or drugs?

Does he have extreme mood swings? Happy one minute and angry the next?

Is he extremely jealous? Does he get into fights with other boys who pay you attention?

Does he use force during an argument or during intimacy?

Does he blame others or make excuses about his problems?

Is he verbally abusive to you? (yelling all the time, putting you down, calling you stupid, threatening you?)

Does he treat his mother with disrespect or is he mean to her? Do former girlfriends say he abused them?

Does he try to control you or tell you what to do, who you can see, where you can go all the time?

Does he try to keep you away from your family or try to make you dependent on him, telling you that he knows what is best for you and your family is always wrong?

I repeat if even two of those things is true, you need to break it off and get as far away from him as possible, because these are all signs of someone who abuses or will abuse women.

8 Responses to “Do You Have An Abusive Boyfriend?”

  • Only Business:

    When I was about 5 my mom had an abusive boyfriend. I remember very little of that time and it went on for at least 5 years. I want to remember more of it because I want to know the signs. I don’t want my mom or any of my friends to go through that. Please help me.

  • BRUTE:

    their kids being abused because all they care about is being with an abusive boyfriend (husband) they are obsessed with. What kind of help do these women need to make them understand that its not right to put their kids through abuse just because they are obsessed with their partner?

  • liza:

    Well me and my boyfriend have been together a while but in the bedroom he gets very rough, demanding and full on. He grabs me by my neck chokes me and pushes me up the wall he did this before we even had sex. He also slaps me around my face and head if we are about to have sex once he did it because i wouldnt take my trousers off. He has also gave me dead legs and punched me in my arm but says he is joking and he also grabs my wirsts and leaves bruises. The other day i cam home and had bruises on my face arms wrists back etc some of it he does during sex and some before we even have sex. Is he being abusive or not being to serious? Any help appreciated
    He does this a lot as we are leading up towards sex.

  • Alun J:

    I want to start by saying this isn’t a sob story, I am just looking for some advice.
    I have been living with my daughter’s father for over three years. I just graduated college and got a pretty nice job, though it is only part time for the time being. Every spare moment I have is dedicated to my little girl, who is just over a year old. She is my world. My daughter’s father works nights and I work days, so during the week I don’t see him much. Some weekends we spend together, but a few weekends a month he goes out and comes home drunk, and whenever he is drunk he is very abusive, both mentally and physically. He hits and chokes and says the most terrible things. Hardly a weekend goes by that my arms, legs, neck, or back aren’t bruised and on occasion, even scarred (from cuts and scratches). I have given him so many chances, and have attempted to leave him a few times. Once, I even got a restraining order, but removed it because of pressure from mutual friends and his family. He is very controlling and he always finds a way back in. He begs and tells me how much he loves me and that it’s not going to happen again. Then there is a short honeymoon period, and then the cycle begins again. I don’t want my daughter growing up thinking it is ok for a man to treat a woman this way. She has my whole heart and there is nothing I wouldn’t do for her. At one point I got back with him because I felt selfish for taking her father away, but now I have come to peace with the fact that she is better off without him. How do I leave him for good? He says he will hurt any guy that comes around me, hurt my family, and make my life Hell. How do I get him to leave me alone?
    Thanks for the support everybody. I am 22 and in some ways have some growing to do. I need to get away from him for good. I’ve seen my mother go through it and know the hurt that ensues all who are involved.. I need to get away from him for good.

  • nathan:

    Think the title says it all but my boyfriend (he’s not even worth calling that) puts me down so much, constantly stresses me out, argues with me all the time, doesn’t work, sleeps in all day, does nothing in the house, calls me lazy, ugly so many others names and has hit me while pregnant (but hit me and pushed me around more when i wasn’t expecting). Im still working and am 7 months pregnant now, have to come home and do dinner and all the housework and do everything for my 3yr son. Biggest mistake was getting pregnant again and i need to leave but it is so much easier said than done plus my son does love him but i hate the man. just a bit of advice please x

  • toast:

    my boyfriend is 15 && im 14 . he used to b really sweet , untill he started to slap && shake me aggressivly :( i love him though .. what should i do ?

  • Gage:

    I’ve been with him for 3 years and we have a 1 year old daughter.He is physically,verbally and emotionally abusive and I really want to get out of this relationship but I don’t know how to leave because I’m scared of how he’ll react or what he would do.What is the best way possible to leave an abusive boyfriend?

  • Goe122:

    Me and my boyfriend have been together for three years. I have just found out that I am 2 months pregnant but now I really do not know what to do. Today Christmas Day I bought him some presents however the main one hasn’t arrived and won’t arrive for another week or so. He made me feel so bad for this and I showed him what it was he was getting. He said it was wrong of me to do this as it wasn’t here yet and I’ve upset him. This then caused a huge argument (on Christmas Day) and has left me down stairs in tears as he said that he didn’t want to see me and just being there was annoying him. This isn’t the first time. Our first year together was wonderful we were so happy together. We moved in with each other and everything went down hill from there. He has accused me of cheating on him so many times when I have never given him reason to think this. He has also threatened me saying that he will seriously injury me if I don’t stop and I will seriously regret it. I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong and it’s the smallest things that set him off. He says he doesn’t give a shit about what I have to say and the sound of my voice irritates him. He also says things like your worthless, your so thick and stupid, you mean nothing. And after all this 5 minutes later he comes back and says he’s sorry and he loves me. I don’t understand. A few occasions he has come so close to my face in rage that I’ve put my hands and arms up In defense and he took this as me fighting back and we have got physical. I’m not strong and he always says see you can be out down like that. He has left a few bruises on my arms a couple of times but he always then tries to make it up to me by buying me something after. I had an abortion last year and I thoroughly regret it but we weren’t ready. I’m now two months pregnant again but don’t think I can spend my life like this but don’t know how to get out of it because every time I try to leave he pulls me back into his web. What do I do?? Please help!!!

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